Otto Does Foreign Policy

Does anyone remember Otto, the brain damaged ex-CIA assassin played so deliciously by Kevin Kline in A Fish Called Wanda? Otto cruised around London in a massive old Chrysler, driving on the right and forcing British drivers off the road while screaming that they were a**holes. Described by one reviewer as a walking id, Otto’s most famous line was “Oh, you English are so superior, aren’t you? Well, would you like to know what you’d be without us, the good ol’ US of A to protect you? I’ll tell you. The smallest f**king province in the Russian Empire, that’s what! If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking German! Singing ‘Deutschland, Deutschland über alles’….”
Exit Otto, who is a fictional character, enter stage right Mitt Romney, who is, unfortunately, all too real. Mitt demonstrated his international savoir faire shortly after arriving in London by telling NBC’s Brian Williams that he had concerns about the preparations for the Olympics. This presumably was at least in part intended to highlight the splendid job he did in Salt Lake City after receiving massive subsidies from the federal government to prevent the total collapse of the enterprise. He wanted to compare that well-oiled machine to the work of the hapless Brits who, per Mitt, seem to be unable to control their own labor unions. Labor unions are a bit scarce in Utah. Unfortunately, the hapless Brits found out about the interview and Romney learned that the first rule in visiting foreign countries is not to insult your hosts.